“Game Has No Clock”: The Persistent and Presumptuous Pre-8AM Gentleman

Time: 7:47AM
Wednesday 7 December, 2016

It’s a typical off-peak Wednesday, and no one is in first-thing. A man strolls in for a table for four, but he’ll be starting first.

I ask him about his drink order and turn to go, and the conversation begins. “I haven’t seen you here before.”

It then escalated quickly.

He began by asking things you shouldn’t ask your waitress unless you’ve established a platonic relationship, like asking if I had a boyfriend – more than once, he circled back to it later.
He then asked if I was trying to have kids with my boyfriend and saying that, because I’m not, it isn’t serious.
Well, I’m 23 and it’s 2016. C’mon now.

And that he does some work at this place and as such gets a room comped, and it’s too big for just him and I should stop by one time after work – no one will know.
Well, that’s straight up illegal for me to do because work contract. And trust me, they would absolutely find out. And ultimately, I’m not even getting remotely close to your room, let alone you.

He asked if I like older men; he’s 33, is ten years too much?
While it really does depend on the individual, don’t take that answer as me being interested in you, because we’re not talking about that. Like, at all.

He said I could be a model.
I am built more like an athlete than anything, and am way too short. You can see that when I’m four feet away from you. You can do better than that – I hope.

And he told me that he’ll be seeing me at breakfast again on another one of his work trips, so maybe he can get me to change my mind about this forceful, creepy-ass situation, and give him my number.
Even if I’m not with my boyfriend at that point, I will still have no problem saying no to you yet again without the “I have a boyfriend” excuse.

I was working with just one other person that morning, but thank the good lord I don’t have that it was who it was. I told my co-worker that he’d been making what should have been a normal exchange about his breakfast beverage(s) of choice into a question of my relationship and basically trying to convince me to see him. Making a joke that “game has no time” because it was 7:47AM, my coworker then went out and took the table over in ernest, and I avoided walking within three yards of their table after that.

I know – the bartending world is sopping wet (gross linguistic choice here) with people like this, all day every day in every town of America, and likely most of the entire world. So I’ll just have to get the fuck used to it. What I may not get used to, however, is any of this before 8AM.

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